Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Harassment?

its been very long since i posted anything but this has got me all riled up.
I dont intend to make it into a huge ruckus, just that its quite interesting how this played out. 

Basically i was training at this other hospital for 2 weeks, and during the first week we had a class on toxicology. 
Teacher (lets call him X) was nice, very talkative, blabbering non stop, a lil out of context, class was long. 

Then the next day I received a Facebook friend request. it was from X. 
the first thing that popped on my mind was 
1) how the hell did he manage to find my FB? my name was in english
2) Did he add anyone else in my group  (we were in a group of 6)

I asked around and they said no they didn't get any friend requests from him.
So i just ignored the request and moved on. 


A few days later, he messaged me on Facebook. Because he wasn't in my friends list, he couldn't see if I've read the message unless I approved it. 
In that message he just introduced himself as a teacher/doctor from the said hospital.

One of my group mates are doing a study with him, so I thought maybe it was something important , work related, since he did go all the way to message me and all.

I replied, and he said he was impressed by my performance in class, ask if I have any problems at the hospital, that he's quite nosy thats why he likes asking students if they're facing any problems and report back to the higher up. 

I was a bit weirded out at first, cause why the hell can't he ask me in person at the hospital? he's not even my mentor? and why me? Did he add me on fb and messaged me just for this?

I asked my friends what to do, what to say.. and i didn't reply for 10 minutes or so, with his message being seen as read.

He then messaged me and said 'Sorry to disturb you!'

Then I HAD to reply, can't keep teacher hanging. so i just politely said no, everything's fine, everyone at the hospital are really nice.

I thought that was the end of it.

I posted the screenshot of our convo on Instagram story just for laughs

What i didn't expect was, multiple people came to me and said they encountered the same thing. All of them girls. 
Well one told me he did this to another guy too and he felt weird. But this guy didn't tell me on his own record. 

To be fair i don't know how many more guys or girls he messaged, but the ones who came forward to me were girls.

And they said they felt weirded out and uncomfortable. 

I dont know if this exactly screams sexual harassment, since all his messages evolved around work, asking if you're facing any problems at work... if anything occurs we can look for him.. 

But does it have to be so in-your-face for it to be considered harassment? Does using work as a mask to message us on social media and call our numbers make it OK?

Lets not call it sexual harassment at the moment. I'm just calling it that cause from what I know for now 90% of his targets were female. 

Let's just call it workplace harassment.

Im trying to be as just and as fair as possible, cause I don't want to make false allegations against him as well.

So here are the things that has happened, as told by those who have been contacted by X:

  1. He added us on Facebook and messaged us
  2. He asked for her number, face to face, and she saw that he had actually already saved her number earlier on in his phone.
  3. He messaged some of us on the LINE app, also using work as excuse, asking if we've gotten his powerpoint, when this exchange should be between him and the group leader, not us
  4. He called her on a SUNDAY. And this girl has never ever been to the department he's at, never encountered him at the hospital, does not know who the hell he is
  5. He insisted on a tutoring session with her when she missed his class.Did he intended to have a one on one class with her? i don't know. She politely declined. 


I kept asking myself whether he is just a very nice teacher who likes to look after students or he has other ulterior motives. 

It's a pretty grey area.

He uses work as context to chat us up, and hasn't really done anything to harm us.
It was just a little out of place, and made us uncomfortable. 



I was debating whether to feedback on him or not, and I asked a lot of people around me. 
Some of the answers I got actually surprised me, which prompted me to write this post. 

Basically most of them said yes, and only a handful of people said no.
Those who objected it said:

  1. They're worried this would affect my future career, or I would get demerit for this course
  2. I dont know if this person has a powerful background 
  3. The feedback will not have any effect whatsoever on him
  4. No point blowing this up, just let it slide
This entire ordeal just reminded of the Harvey Weisntein incident. In case you don't know, :

At first I thought it was just me whom X texted, 
After I posted it on social media, a few of my friends told me they encountered the same thing, 
I thought of voicing out, 
Some friends said no. 

This realisation sort of just hit me in the face. 
It just shows how common this cycle is, even though mine is on a much much smaller scale. 

I don't blame them for objecting, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

I also understand that in the real world, shit like this happen.
Power and authority towers over everything else. 

I guess the hardest thing for me was to differentiate whether this counts as harassment, or I'm being over sensitive.
My hunch tells me this is not okay, this is stepping a lil over the line,
but I also keep questioning myself whether I'm being too sensitive.
I keep making up excuses for him, well maybe he's just being nice? and he really likes to take good care of his students? maybe?
I just don't want to falsely accuse someone of something so disgusting.


I do have some reservations voicing out too, I was worried they might give me an F for my course over at their hospital. I'm worried he indeed does have background and might affect my future career, and i also do not want this to blow up.

What I'm asking for is just to not let these teachers so easily gain access to our contact numbers and to cancel his lessons with us to minimize the contact he has with us female students. 
*a little side note: his class sucked, in my humble opinion. 

Its just a little confusing to me why something so straight forward and outright obvious can be so complicated. 

This is how we were taught in school:
See any wrong doing? Just report
Any unwanted advances coming your way? Just report
Teacher messaging you outside work and calling your number outside work time? Just report

Well sadly things don't work that way in the real world. 
Some people said to me, 
'well he hasn't done u any harm'
well, not yet, 
but who knows if he really didn't have any intentions?
or just that he hasn't succeeded. 

If someone ever comes to you and tells you his/her experience, and you want to discourage them from speaking out solely because you're pessimistic on the effects it'll have, or because you just feel that its unnecessary to make things more complicated, please DONT.

What you're doing is just gonna silence him/her, and it does take a lot of courage to speak out.
No one wants to be the person who rocks the boat.
Everyone is afraid of being retaliated.

Well I'm definitely gonna block him on social media once this course is over, just in case. 

I'm really curious about what you guys think.
How would you handle this?
What should I do? Since it's entirely possible i might be facing similar shit in the future.
Am I making a big fuss out of it?
Should I give him the benefit of the doubt?
Or it's just what it is

Please let me know!


P/S: I did feedback to my own mentor, he said he would report it to the director of the department. and i did send feedback letters to the hospital. Will they be taking any actions? I dont know :)
At least I did what needed to be done. 

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Photoscape #4 - 紅毛港


I actually went 紅毛港 twice, hence the two different outfits
I really liked it there, I just wish it weren't that far 
It took us almost 40 minutes on a scooter to get there.
Due to Kaohsiung's hot and humid weather, I was drenched in sweat before even stepping into the compound



The mandatory staircase photo




I really like this place cause there's not a lot of people, and its really calming




The only downside is it's really cold during the winter, and really hot during other seasons (extreme much?)


One last shot before leaving.
Even the road leading to the entrance is practically empty. 
So, another mandatory road shot! 

As we were leaving in the evening, we actually saw more and more people entering the compound.
Jim said quite a number of people like to chill here at night to watch the stars and feel the sea breeze
Shall come again at night and join the fun !

xoxo, 
Jane

Friday, May 29, 2015

Photoscape #2 -- Still Taichung

Day 2 at Taichung we started our day quite late cause there's only one place lined up for the day.

Jim and I planned beforehand only our photoscape destinations and not places we wanna eat at (well I guess that'd be MY job next time) so we spent some time wandering around the art museum looking for food. 

We stumbled across this restaurant called Hungry Jacobs and we went for it.

.............................

突然覺得還是打中文好了 哈哈哈


Hungry Jacobs 超好吃!!!
他就是一家漢堡店,專賣不同國家風味的漢堡 (有時候很懷疑自己的形容詞到底對不對,如果不對又會被同學笑很久 ==

價位大概一個人250




Jim的英國魚柳堡
個人覺得來這家店不要點他的魚柳堡,如果有吃牛肉的話就點他的牛肉堡就好
牛肉堡超好吃,可是他的魚柳堡很一般,而且他用多利魚我覺得多利魚不好吃 嗯嗯


我的義大利牛肉堡!!
沙拉超好吃,反正整盤都很完美
下次去台中一定會再去吃!

照片其實就是隨手拍一拍而已因為那時候只想要傳給朋友看,沒想過要放到部落格上
可是這家真的好好吃喔 下次去玩還是拍一下食物的照片好了 可以介紹給大家 XD


National Taiwan Museum of Fine Arts 國立台灣美術館

這一天的行程只有美術館
我覺得每次太陽很大的時候去拍照真的好痛苦
拍了一陣子就馬上爬去附近的飲料店
然後看到有冷氣的地方一定要去待個十分鐘再繼續拍 
然後天氣很熱一直流汗我也不想拍了 變得很不耐煩 哈哈哈

美術館裡面有一個旋轉樓梯,偶爾會在IG看到別人的作品 
可是我覺得好奇的是 通常拍旋轉樓梯的時候最底部都會站一個人,就像之前在中山大學的旋轉樓梯拍的那樣, 可是我看到的美術館旋轉樓梯的作品卻從來沒看到有人躺/坐在底部

結果進去美術館之後就知道原因了
大概就是因為最底部那一層是小孩子的玩耍空間,有超多小孩還有家長在那裏,如果躺在那裡應該會覺得很尷尬吧

不過男友還是去了 XD



拍完他上來找我的時候跟我說
他躺下來的時候,樓下有個小孩指著他大喊:
‘’媽媽你看!!!那個哥哥在這裡睡覺!!!!‘’
而且還喊了好幾遍,喊到他媽媽都覺得不好意思了 哈哈哈哈哈
我聽了之後笑不停耶,因為他躺在那裡很久,
其實我一下就拍完了,可是他擔心我還沒拍好他就離開那就白白犧牲了
哈哈哈 我完全可以想像那個情境,一定丟臉到不行

之後他問我要不要下去躺下來拍這張,我就跟他說,免了 XD




雖然美術館很大可是感覺室內可以拍的地方沒有很多,
可是又不想離開到室外去因為太熱了 (汗



到春水堂買了一杯飲料以後只好乖乖的到室外去



以前一起出去玩的時候都會有很多的合照
可是自從我們兩個開始了 photoscape 這種約會方式以後我們倆人的合照少之又少啊 (哭
看來我們需要買腳架了 XD


我喜歡 jumpshot 就是受這位先生所影響 (笑

似乎大部分的人來美術館都會跟那個紅色 W 拍一張



本來沒有很想拍,結果看到男友跳得那麼爽
我也去跳一下 XD



跳了這張以後就自己OS :‘以前芭蕾舞的時候我到底是怎麼跳起來的啊,現在把腳往後抬一點點就會覺得被屁股的肥肉卡住了 抬不上去了 ’==

拍完這張我們又去買了杯飲料 然後就離開了 XD

去了大坑吃東東芋圓,好想試試看那裏的甕仔雞啊啊啊啊啊,可惜沒時間

下次再去好了 XD

喔喔
然後去台中要看夜景的話可以到月老廟去!!!!
真的很漂亮,而且那裏蠻多人的不會很恐怖
而且一抬頭馬上就很明顯地看到北斗七星 (應該沒看錯

真的 好 ! 漂 ! 亮 !


Saturday, May 23, 2015

Photoscape #1 -- Taichung

I guess my blog is going to be mainly of my photo ventures with Jim, so I might as well as have a proper noun for it to be used hereinafter, instead of starting my post again and again with '' I went to xx with Jim and we took some photos ''  *YAWN

I shall label all such posts as my #photoscape in the future ! yay!


So this time we went to Taichung.

Taichung always felt more or less like Ipoh to me, strategically.
It's in between Kaohsiung and Taipei, just like how Ipoh is between Penang and KL. 
But development wise Taichung is miles ahead of Ipoh.
I would say Tainan feels more like Ipoh culture wise cause Tainan is not that modern compared to other cities, and it's famous for its local delicacies
Also, Tainan is Jim's hometown ! 
Just like how Ipoh is my hometown :)


Jim did some research and did the planning for our trip. 

We traveled around on his brother's motorcycle
It's much more convenient traveling in Taiwan via motorcycle cause 


  1. It's faster. What traffic jam? Motorcycles need not be stuck in traffic jam. Not to mention the time wasted on waiting for the bus to come. AND also you'll still have to walk a fair distance to your destination
  2. It's cheaper
  3. Empty parking spaces are a rare sight  in Taiwan. Times like this I wish I was back in Malaysia where parking is so easy ! 
First stop,
Chung Shan Medical University ! 中山醫學大學

We came all the way here just for the swirling stairs
When I mentioned to my friend studying there, he told me it's just an old staircase, nothing special really.

Well thats the beauty of photography isn't it?
To transform everyday sight, something you won't even notice in real life, into something you would never expect. 





I still can't overcome the embarrassment when I'm posing and the passersby stare at you like look at her! she's doing something funny lets just stare at her as we walk pass 

Sometimes I really wanna dig a hole and hide 

In this care as I laid at the bottom of the stairs pretending I'm running, the girls at the opposite building were staring at me -___-



Funny thing is Jim wore grey that day so he blended right into the background HAH





Taichung Metropolitan Opera House 台中歌劇院


The building is still under construction, but the outer part seems completed.

I really like that the new buildings in Taiwan are mostly into this style
This building is designed by a Japanese architect, Toyo Ito. 
He is also the mastermind behind the world games stadium in Kaohsiung ( I went there for another one of my photoscape), and  Vivo City Singapore. 


 Photo found via google

The design is so simple, so tranquil, and looks really elegant

You can always take pretty pictures with this kinda buildings 



It was a very sunny day and I was sweating like mad just standing there



I was dying to find a shade where I can hide from




Finally some shade !!!




Jim said people come here to take pic of the building and here I am more focused on the patch of greenery beside it :P


It was so sunnnehhhhh I could barely open my eyes 




Jim behind me just died from exhaustion HAH



Jim all geared up and ready to go !


We then went behind the building and found a spot we love !




I think we spent at least half an hour here HAH


Jump shots are so much fun !






As I stood there didn't know how else to pose Jim just kept pressing the shutter button so I just randomly decided to do a cart wheel side flip 








......and I failed miserably ! lol


Last shot at the opera house :







Gaomei Wetlands 高美溼地 

The wetland is located 40 minutes away from the city, famous for its windmills, sunset, and a family attraction where kids and their parents dig baby crabs outta the mud just for fun. 




'' Mommy what are they doing ? ''
'' Oh they are just digging crabs ''
When you're almost there you can see rows of people with their cameras stationed by the road, waiting for the sun to set. 



 As we were approaching, we saw, in the distance, tiny shadows, the size of ants, shifting around. 

I said to Jim, '' Wa look !!!!! Are those actual people that we see moving around? ''
It was so crowded with people the only word I could use to describe it was the word 'disgusting' = =
From afar it really looked like an army of ants crawling around the ant nest, but at a slower pace. 

Here's a picture that Jim captured of the crowd. 






We walked a good five minutes away from the crowd before we could reach a spot with much less people so that our photos wouldn't get photobombed by passersby










Look at Jim's tan line at the back of his neck ! 
Thats what Kaohsiung sunshine does to you 



Sometimes I think I'm a better photographer,

or maybe he's just a better model HAH

Unfortunately we didn't get to witness the sunset that day, the sun was hiding behind the clouds

So all those photographers we saw on the way stood there for hours for nothing. sad case

Thats all for my first day at Taichung!

Gonna blog bout my 2nd day soon :)

Please follow me on Instagram ! @yanwen.jane   

Oh and Jim's : @suntoryer    :P